If U WANT TO GET TO KNOW ME BETTER
Hello brothers and sisters, dear friends, my planetary family. In the following short note, I want to include a bit of my life, my experiences and my mission. I want you to get to know me a little closer, so that you can feel as if we were friends, as if we were a family. In the physical dimension time flows linearly, i.e. from one event to another. Therefore, I start my story from distant part of my life, from my childhood. I was born on Earth on February 17, 1993 in the Slavic country of Central Europe - Poland. This culture has always been associated with the closeness of nature - cycles of nature, forests, backwoods, harvests of berries, mushroom picking or hiking in the mountains. In my home country there may be mountain ranges, forests, rivers, lakes, highlands and the Baltic Sea. In terms of nature, Poland is a really beautiful land. Unfortunately, as technology and urbanization progressed, my people lost many spiritual values and focused on the world of matter. Despite the fact that the official religion of our country is (from the beginning of the early Middle Ages) Christianity, to the depths of our hearts we still have a longing for our first original culture and spirituality based on relationships with nature.
As a zodiacal Aquarius, I was born with the soul of a rebel, revolutionary, eccentric and objective idealist who feels the path of the future. My sign combines intellect with intuition, which helps me think more holistically. The energy that I hold is also very humanitarian - I feel a powerful desire to help the world and the whole family - people, animals, plants, mushrooms, crystals, elements and the entire planet Earth. I feel a spiritual connection with the Great Cosmic Evolution. Below I will share with you my short story so that you can get to know me better.
My early life wasn’t so easy for me and I know that it was all the more valuable and transformative, even though I didn't see it that way then. When I was a little child, my family lived in a small, cramped apartment in a block of flats. I lived in a one small room with my sister, which is four years older, and my parents enrolled me in a very well-known inclusive school in our small town (about 230,000 people). I studied there from kindergarten to the end of the middle school, because it was a large, multi-level school. Each class had several students with various physical disabilities, e.g. wheelchair, hearing impaired, dumb, visually impaired, and one or two students from exchanges between Slavic countries. These years meant that I grew up in an atmosphere in which I learned empathy and acceptance and I met directly with people who, like each of us, are wonderful beings, but their physical bodies have greater than ours limitations. During elementary school my family moved to a newly built house where we supposed to start our family life. Nothing could be more wrong, however, because my parents' marriage broke up, which was not so sudden, and the process itself took several years. It was a period of time when two people who were originally in love with each other, caused more than ever before unpleasantness, anger and frustration. They were driving each other crazy. In addition, the day before the 6th of December (Saint Nicolas Day), when children are given presents in Poland, our house was robbed during our absence. It was a big blow towards a sense of security for a small child I had been.
A year later, my mother met and moved to a new partner with me and my sister. However, a few months later, when I went to high school, my sister join the university with faculty of psychology in another city - for the first time in my life I was alone. A period of rebellion, adolescence, first love and youthful madness began. It was a period when my curiosity dominated my life. I took part in various games, experienced extremes, all in order to explore, discover, feel. It was a difficult three years of high school when my consciousness needed significant expansion. During this period, my beloved grandmother also died and I had no specific approach to dying yet, it was the first confrontation of this kind. In high school, the number of good and bad decisions was quite similar. I’ve been learning how to establish relationships between people, I’ve been discovering the sexual nature of man, I tried different substances, motivated by the desire to check for myself what a given experience is, rebelling with the information that the world around me was giving me. Some of these experiences proved to be very helpful and broadening perspectives, others were able to cause a lot of danger in my life. Particularly dangerous was the fact that I got addicted to the psychoactive substance - DXM. Addiction was very difficult in retrospect, but at the time I was not aware of it. All that mattered to me was the need to find answers to my bothering questions and to search for existential truths. Another mistake of this period was the irresponsible ritual I carried out with my friends – calling the ghosts, which a few years later was closed, cleaned and for which I’ve been apologizing the Great Spirit of Life for a few years. My substance addiction led me in its peak form to a very difficult process, threatening my life. I went to the hospital, and the psychiatrist decided to keep me for a 10-day observation in a psychiatric hospital, because it was the second time of hospitalisation in the same week. My soul was in a dark place. I couldn't do anything about it, and despite my parents' disagreement, I had to stay there. I was afraid that something could be wrong with me. I underwent a lot of psychological tests, and as it had happened six months after my 18th birthday, I was locked up in an adult ward, where I was the youngest person. In this place, I met people who had gone through unsuccessful suicide attempts and in the afternoon almost all patients were undergoing pharmacotherapy that made them behave like zombies. It was a very empowering experience to be there and give me food for thought. Of course, I was not found to have any disorders and I was not subjected to any psychological therapy. After 10 days I left this hospital and have never returned to it. I came out of addiction, and the event itself catalysed me - it caused powerful changes, for which I am very grateful today. The most difficult seemed to be behind me, the best is yet to come. Mistakes were made, but I know now what I do not want in my future life and what was bad for me in the past.
The MISSION AND THE SOULS' PURPOSE
My great need to help the world has always been with me. We had animals at home since childhood - fish, canaries, mice, hamsters, dogs or cats. During my relations with animals I also experienced difficulties. The dog I loved very much, which was the apple of my eye - Sonia - disappeared at the age of 3 and never found herself again. It took many years to get my head around with it. Each difficult experience made me feel that I would like other people not to go through such hardships. I asked myself why all this is actually happening to me. I became interested in psychology hoping to find answers.
My family has been always telling me that I would be a great doctor because I really like to help other people and that they see that it could be fulfilling for me. My grandmother and mother kept their fingers crossed very much. As I spent high school quite turbulently, I didn't get to such studies and went to study biology, which was quite an intuitive choice. I went to the capital of my country and planned to move to medical studies after a first year of biology. The university, where future doctors studied, was located across the street from the Faculty of Biology. I looked there dreaming to be there eventually. The year of studying biology, however, was more focused on dealing with psychological development and reading about researches involving psychedelic substances - LSD, DMT, mescaline. That year I learned about the phenomenon of life and evolution, and in the dormitory where I lived in one room with two roommates, I gained psychological knowledge on my own. Still, I felt that my willingness to help needed expression, I wanted to heal the world, so that people could live in happiness and love eternally. I felt it with all my heart. After the first year of biology, I failed to get medicine and stayed at the same university for another year. I continued my personal development, but this time the ambitions began to prevail - I was intensively preparing to improve my high school final results to get to my dream university. And I succeeded - I improved the results, but not enough to get to medicine - I ran out of a few points. So I chose pharmacological studies, also having interest in the world of chemistry and having my own past experiences that I wanted to understand. To study this field, I had to move to another city, located on the other end of my country - about 400 km from the capital. So I went to a new place, met new people and fell in love. The local culture was a bit different, my consciousness began to expand also at the geographical level and perceive more diversity. I studied pharmacology here for a year - during this period I was also interested in physics and philosophy and I focused my attention on them.
After this one-year experience the moment came that I waited for a long time - I managed to join medical university and one of the best in my country - I guaranteed myself a return to the capital. However, I have returned there as a different person. I considered that faculty as a best direction for a person who wanted to change the world. I was very excited and at the same time felt that my desires and needs were much more mature. Over the next three years I were discovering the world of medicine, life in relationship with other human being and myself. I became interested in astrophysics, quantum physics and travels. It seemed that everything was going in the best direction and that I had what I wanted - I felt that I would heal the world and my family was so satisfied. The longer I studied medicine, the more I began to study spiritual teachings, Hinduism, Buddhism, and meditation practices. I couldn't find too many friends in the medical circle and at first I didn't understand this phenomenon because I was known as sociable and talkative person. What stood in the way? Something inside me felt like I wasn't in the place I belong to. I didn't understand why I felt that way. The longer I studied, the Universe began to give me more and more signals about my destiny. I felt more and more stress and fatigue related to the amount of learning. I felt less and less interest in the material. I was thinking more and more about spirituality and I began to notice that Western medicine is not able to fulfil my mission of healing the world. As if that wasn't enough, huge sleep problems occurred, insomnia, depression and panic attacks appeared. I didn't understand where it all comes from. In the pursuit of understanding the whole situation, I began to look for spiritual truths in psychological teachings that could bring me understanding. I noticed that I never dreamed of being a doctor and that was always healing the world. My mother and grandmother had such a dream about me and it was theirs ambition. I unknowingly was trying to fulfil my family’s vision. After the third year of medicine, after many months of feeling very bad, depressed and with sleep problems, I decided that I could not live like this anymore and quit my studies. I have chosen a new direction, better for my mission. I knew that it was closer to healing the world than medicine could ever provide for me.
I had such a natural curiosity since I was a child and the need to find answers. The world of magic, the cosmos, the human mind and dreams were fuelling this curiosity. My interests were variable - at first I was interested in geology, archaeology, meteorology, and when I was in the middle school, biology and chemistry appeared in my life. At the high school level, metaphysics, physics and psychology joined and in the following years philosophy, spiritual teachings, quantum physics, astrophysics, pharmacology and medicine became a part of my life either. The world interested me in its full splendour - from the essence of life, through the ubiquitous field of consciousness, from the smallest particle to the huge universe. During my path full of changes, the topic of spirituality was appearing all the time, but the form was very different. As a small child, I believed in church and that was enough for me. Pretty soon religion was unable to provide me with satisfying answers that I would have seen in my life myself - I wanted to understand the phenomenon of life through my own experience.
Initially, my contact with spirituality was based mainly on interest in the topic of dreams - since childhood I have had very interesting and realistic dreams. Some, as it turned out later, alluded to the cosmic origin of my soul, others presented me with parallel realities. I really wanted to understand what reality and perception are and above all I wanted to have more control over dreams. That's how I found the topic of lucid dreaming. At this point in my life, I began to practice and learn all theories related to this topic. The OOBE (out of body experience) topic and interest in Robert Monroe's experience also appeared in my life. After many months of training, lucid dreams began to appear in my life, which initially caused me a high level of excitement (which, moreover, interrupted the first successful attempts). A little bit later I managed to leave the physical body, but the first time seeing my body lying on the bed shocked me so much that I woke up slightly scared. Another attempt allowed me to explore more parts of the astral realm. I became interested in various psychoactive substances and pharmacology, I read a lot about neurophysiology and I was fascinated by the nervous system. In my life there were several experiences with LSD, two with hallucinogenic mushrooms, two with psychedelic cactus and several ayahuasca ceremonies. All of this happened in eight years, from the age of 18. Each of these sensations had something special. LSD helped me explore the human mind and my own mental resources, but also made me realize how much it depends on our subconscious programming of the human mind, how much what is hidden in oblivion affects our daily lives. I feel the experience of this psychedelic as a kind of therapy. Of course, working with psychedelics is very responsible and in the wrong conditions can do more harm than help, which I was taught by two such experiences when I lacked humility and knowledge about it. The experience with mushrooms was rather an exploration of spiritual ecstasy, mysticism and perception, which turned out to be very plastic. Cactus San Pedro developed my horizons about the phenomenon of imagination and empathy, while Ayahuasca was a very deep spiritual experience that shed some light on how many layers our being is built of, how everything is connected and what the superconscious is. During one of the psychedelic experiences, I found myself in several parallel realities, which was a shocking but eye-opening experience for me. They were not harmful, but the very fact of their tangible existence was shocking to me.
Next important topic in my life are light beings. One day, a wonderful person told me that I had angelic energy in me and that I came to earth with this kind of energy and that we are living in an interesting time now, when several types of souls incarnate on Earth. Since then, the topic of angels has been close to me - I began to pray to them, talk to them and see signs from them - very subtle, yet visible. The ones that helped me enter the path that my Higher Self wanted from me - the part of me that knows the goals and desires of my soul and which I have discovered so far. Work with angels began to take the form of channelling. I began to learn how to open vibrating communication channels, and I began to perceive human brain as a radio station that broadcasts on the waves of physical reality, being in the course of my life. This station was able to be consciously tuned to broadcasting on a different vibration range. Thoughts themselves are an example of information attracted by the receiver, compatible with vibration and the subconscious programs.
In my work with my own vibration, I was helped above all by life and experience, as well as lessons that it brought and by working with my own psyche, traumas, meditation and self-hypnosis. When the subject of energetic field, consciousness and vibration began to be close to me, I started working with chakras and karma. This work was more conscious as some information, emotions, thoughts, feelings, desires and needs were more mature. During channelling and contact with angels, deeper levels of reality began to reveal in front of me. I discovered how wonderful tools for such contact are oracles, working with cards, intuition and faith as an ability, as a key that opens the door to perception. "Blessed are those who have not seen but believed" have acquired a powerful meaning in my life.
The next stage of spiritual development were visions during the day, memories of other lifetimes, of periods beyond life, of life on other planets began to appear. I am at this stage and I still see a lot of work ahead of me, but I can also help others at some levels. On those I can - I will. What I am still working on will remain private for now, because I do not want and will not teach others something that I have not fully experienced myself. I believe I will heal this world as much as I can. I hope that it will be given to me and I will have such an opportunity. I deeply believe in it! One thing is certain - I will seek truth and answer questions about the nature of reality, which provides me with my Northern Node in Sagittarius, while what I will teach will be spirituality, as my ascendant is in the Pisces in which I have Mercury located either.